Are things feeling a little bit stale? Maybe you’re stuck in a rut and with all the craziness of the year winding down you’ve barely made any time for your partner? Perhaps it’s figuring out how to juggle everything in this new season of your life. Whatever is getting your marriage down, with enough love and effort I’m sure you can turn things around. There are a few things that I think really help bring more romance into a relationship, so if you’re feeling a little frustrated with how things are or just want to take things to the next level, keep reading to learn more.
Work on How You Listen
Improving your listening skills is something that we all need to do. Often we listen to respond, not actually processing what the other person is saying to us or considering the weight of it all. Being truly heard is such a wonderful gift to give someone, and can be a wonderful way to make your partner feel respected, valued and appreciated. One of the easiest things you can do to improve your listening with your partner and to make it clear you’re available to them in that way, is to listen to what they’re saying and respond with “I hear you.” You can also repeat what they said back to you in a different way to show that you’re really taking it on board. You know how it feels to be truly heard, so try to give that back to your partner during every interaction you have. Being properly heard could be likened to audio porn for women, it’s so attractive to be truly heard and something you might be missing from your marriage.
Focus on Non Sexual Touching
Yes, sex is an important part of any marriage. No one is going to deny that. But there’s more to intimacy than just sex and if you’re not focused on that too, then chances are you’re missing out on a huge part of your marriage. As they say, it’s the little things that count such as placing your hand on their thigh while driving together, a gentle hug when you first see them and some long cuddles while watching a TV show together. If you’re looking for something new, check out the pocketing dating trend that you might like to incorporate into your marriage. Try to add in as many non sexual touching moments during the day as possible and watch as your intimacy grows.
Learn Their Love Language
According to Gary Chapman’s book, the Five Love Languages, there are five types of love languages that everyone prefers to receive. You can be a mix, but generally you have a stronger language. Often we give what we’d like to receive, and the person receiving it doesn’t actually notice the things we do for them in the way we would expect. The love languages are: touch, affirmation, acts of service, quality time and receiving gifts. Think about what your partner likes to do for you, and that’s a pretty big hint as to what they might like from you! Learning to give in a way that makes them feel treasured is really important for growing your marriage.
One of the hard things about being married is that things get really routine-like. The day to day grind can feel really boring and you begin to see your partner more as a roommate than a lover. Why not spice things up by surprising them. Go out somewhere new together. Go out late on a work night when you usually wouldn’t. Have sex somewhere new, maybe even in your car somewhere. Make things feel a little more exciting and that will really change the dynamic of your marriage.
Do Something Sensual Together
Why not take a dancing class together? It doesn’t matter if you’re both terrible, it’s half the fun. If signing up for a class doesn’t feel realistic for your lifestyle, why not put some music on upstairs and dance away the evening together. If you have a bath, why not take a bath together? Maybe you can head to the spa together for a massage. You could also consider just spending the day at the pools together. Whatever you choose, make sure it allows you to be close to each other but in a non sexual way! This is great for building up anticipation and excitement. If you’re looking for some more ideas, check out the blog Love My Senses for some other great ideas.
When we’re juggling so many tasks and responsibilities it can be hard to find the time for romance, but it’s an important part of keeping a happy and healthy marriage. I hope these tips inspire you to bring a little more romance into the most important relationship in your life.